Traveling with a P.I.T.A. written by a crazed momma bear

Traveling with a Pain in the Ass is the only way to title this blog entry.  I am sorry of those who see my kid as that who can do no wrong, but let me tell you....

Where are we going this time, Mom??

So traveling through the many airports that we have as a family is fine.  Tag team is the game and we dont play around.  Ryan and I can tell when the other has had their limit and usually swoop in before there are adult tears along with toddler tears.  But, Knox and I have been on THIRTEEN flights together since December.  More of half of those were just the two of us.  As most of you know I am a terrible flyer as it is. I had an awful experience on a tiny little Cessna, and have not been the same ever since.  Anyways.  I would go the 'liquid courage' route, but its usually looked down upon when you have a little one with you.  

This blog post is not just about me bitching and whining, I promise.  I am writing to tell you flying with a toddler alone is a very hard thing but I hope that I can offer any tips and shortcuts to help anyone else out there that might be in the same situation.  

Dang, he sure is cute.  

 First and foremost.  If you can buy the kid a seat, do it.  We didn't think about this on one trip just K and I took back to the states and we were both miserable.  Sure holding a tiny, three month old baby who sleeps like a cat for twenty hours a day is alright.  But trying to hold a 30 pound jittery bouncing toddler who is throwing a fit bc he is overtired is a different story all together.  We booked the flight and bc I had 'an infant in arms' they gave me a bulk head seat, which was nice.  They offered me a bassinet that attached to the wall in front of me and I scoffed at the weight restriction and put my giant kid in that damn bassinet, it was only supposed to hold up to 15 lbs.  I got a good two and a half hours to myself, which was nice. And he refused to go back in the bassinet for the next eight hours. (the lady next to me, not so nice...she told my kid to hush, so I told her where to shove it.) 

He was scrunched up like a sardine, but he slept a little while!

 Snacks.  The one thing that will make any human happy.  Especially delish ones that you have never had before like fruit snacks, lollipops and m&ms.  You know I am not all about being totally organic or vegan or anything like that (but if you are, good on ya!).  But Knox does not get things like that on a daily basis. But you better believe he did while on those planes! Even just the offer of letting him have one made him turn into putty that I could make do what ever I pleased.  Muuuuaaaahahaahhahahahaha.  

Electronics.  My kid could say Ipad before he could tell me what number came after one.  Am I ashamed of this fact, yes.  Has the Ipad stopped me from shoving him into a strangers arms and walking away, yes.  He is better at using that damn thing than I am.  But what ever makes him happy, he can have it from time to time.  He can watch the same episode of a show at least three times before he gets bored, and that gives me at least 30 mins of non-Knox time.  Oh and Bose noise cancelling head phones are awesome.  They stay on his giant head and I cant hear the annoying yap of Elmo over and over.  

Sleeping Schedules.  If you are a stickler for your kids schedule, flying through multiple time zones is not for you.  Just give up now and stay where ever you are.  But with my experience, just let them sleep.  You will both be happier when you reach your destination.  And any schedule can be fixed in a day or two. Plus, flying towards Africa is sooooo much easier on the body.  We should just keep going that way on our next trip back to the states...

Running Around.  Usually the only time I get up and out of my seat on a plane is to go to the restroom, and I have been known to shove my way back there during boarding and right before deplaning.  Yes, I am that girl.  (I think its the idea of the toilet contents splashing if we hit turbulence YUCK) But with K we just had to get up and move around.  We did laps, we hung out with strangers, we both squished into the bathroom together.  Anything to keep our mind off of how many more hours we had on the giant tube of steel. But while in the actual airport, oh that kid got a work out.  One end of the terminal to the other, multiple times.  I dont care if our lay over is 30 mins or 30 hours, we both need to get some energy out!   

Patience.  Everyone has it, I promise.  But some times finding it is the difficult part.  I have been that person on the plane that rolled her eyes when they see a little one sit behind them.  But you have to think about what the caregiver is going through. Everyone on that plane has some where to go and to be, and we will all get there with better attitudes if you dont start in on me and my kid.  (See above about grouchy lady in seat 24b) Tension on planes and even in the airport spreads like wild fire.  I am sure it has to do with everyone not being in control and having the airline Gods dictate everything.  Give a sweet smile to someone who looks like they are having a difficult time, or even lend a hand!  I have asked strangers to watch my sleeping kid so I can take a breather or go to the rest room.  I mean, are they going to steal him?!  Where would they go?? There would be at least twenty witnesses to the kidnapping anyway. Hahahahaha, I kid people! 

Language.  Sure there is one person in every crowd that speaks English.  But will you be that one person?  It usually is me.  As my facebook friends read last week, I almost got on a plane to Tunis bc I couldnt read the signs.  Sure, its still in Africa but about 1,000 miles in the wrong direction.  Just be aware of what is happening around you. 

Vices.  Perhaps that isnt the right name for it for some, but I consider Knox's pacifier or p'ta his vice.  Anyway, if it makes them feel better, give it to them.  If it will help with a stressful situation, let them have it.  It was a new rule in the house while in Ohio that K could only have his p'ta while in bed. But he was allowed to have it the entire time we were traveling, It just a fight I was not willing to deal with.  

Airport and Airplane changing tables.  Most airports with in the US are pretty nice.  Clean and have soap and water.  In other parts of the world, not so much.  Charles De Gaulle is absolutely disgusting. Pack Clorox wipes and hand sanitizer.  And lots of it.  

Carry ons.  I HATE those people that are so cheap that they stuff as much as they can into a carry on that is way to big and bring it on the plane with them.  Giant pet peeve.  HUGE.  Buuuuuuuut....Knox had a pretty large bag of just toys on these last two flights we took.  Snacks, balls, stuffies, p'tas, extra clothes, books, Percy the Mail Train, and even a set of stacking blocks.  And I had a backpack. It was quite awkward carrying it all and chasing after a kid but we made it work and I didnt get told my bag was too big,  So there.  

Future pilot?  This momma sure hopes not!
 But maybe then I can sit in First Class!

Flight Attendants.  They can be your best friend or your worst enemies on these flights.  I am always nice perhaps too nice sometimes.  Always, until you are rude to me.     But they can make or break a flight in a matter of an instant.  On a flight from Rabat to Paris, I was told my "Electronics were too loud" after Knox had pulled out the head phone cable and I was scrambling to plug it back in.  Seriously and with all honesty, you could hear it for about four seconds.  Bitch.  But on our latest flight from Paris back to Rabat, not the same lady, the flight attendant sat with Knox so I could use the bathroom.  With a grain of salt people, but dont test me. 

Well, I hope that this post will help anyone traveling with a toddler in the near future, or just give you a rough overview of things that you can encounter.  In the month of June we are taking 4 flights and in July we are taking 12.  ::deep breathes::  So there might be more to add after those adventures!  

This about sums up our attitude when it comes to air travel!